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Sittin' Under the Oak Tree 4-17-18

Have shared this before (several years ago), and no one has ever come forward and claimed it. So, if you get a laugh out of it, then I have done my part. Have a blessed week and I?ll see ya, right here, next week!

Cars Are like Bodies

Author Unknown

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I?ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that?s not the worst of it.

My fenders are too wide to be stylish. They were once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick.

My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cr?me opened a shop in my neighborhood.

Air bags??? Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddle-bags, of course.

I have way too many miles on my odometer. Sure, I?ve been many places and seen many things, but when?s the last time as appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation?

My headlights are way out of focus and it?s especially hard to see things up close. And my traction is not as graceful as it once was.

I slip and slide and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins, and it takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here?s the worst of it; almost every time I sneeze, cough, or sputter either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!